Last year on Mother’s Day, I was shocked to the point of blood boiling twitching, at some of the posts on Facebook. Some people, usually women, were actually asking for the rest of us NOT to celebrate Mother’s Day, or at least not to post about it.
They asked everyone to be sensitive about those women who had lost their mother, or their child. To be less selfish and consider those women whose relationships with their mothers are full of trauma and sadness.
I have no words for these people. Well actually, I have many words, but none that are relevant or appropriate to express here.
Mother’s Day is to celebrate “motherdom”, not my mother or your mother, or my friend as a mother. We celebrate the gift of THE mother. It doesn’t even have to be an actual “mother” in the biological sense. We celebrate adoptive mothers and mother figures too.
Let me be clear. I love my mother and will do my best to lavish her with love and thanks on Mother’s Day. Because that’s what it’s about, to say thank you. But I will also think of my friends who are mothers; new, experienced, struggling, happy and sad. I will think of my friends mothers, and what they meant and mean to me, as a child growing up, or as a source of support in adult life. I will think of mothers lost and mothers yet to be. I will think of bad mothers and good mothers. Loving and cold. Short and tall. Disabled and strong. Rich and poor. Single and married. Human and animal.
If your relationship with your mother was bad, or isn’t good, I’m sorry for you. If you have lost a child and can no longer be a mother, I’m truly sorry. But the ideal remains a separate and untainted paradigm that we can take part in on this day. Give thanks for being alive because you have or had a mother.
Don’t be dragged down to specifics that lessen us.
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